Bloom · where · you · are · planted

Please stop reading Twilight. It is probably really bad for you.

Woof.

I have discovered it anew, as well as Copeland's second (but not better) album.

Beneath Medicine Tree pretty much rules, and it's one of that albums where you wish every song were about you. The only blemish is that the song 'California' is about missing someone who moved to California from Florida. What about us Californians? These lyrics aren't particularly applicable: 'Come back from California / all of us here in Florida are / starved for your attention.' Besides that, I had forgotten how much I like Copeland.

So here is to rediscovering old favorites.

If you find yourself here on my side of town
I'd pray that you'd come to my door
Talk to me like you don't know what we ever fought about
Cause I don't remember anymore
I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she said that I was the brightest little firefly in her jar

-- 'Brightest'

I am not even going to try.

I went to England. Check that out: http://erininoxford.blogspot.com.

I guess this is a grand re-opening post. Not like anyone will read it.

I must confess, I am very tempted to use this thing as a place to sort out man trouble. Which has just increased exponentially in the last 20 minutes.

Eventually, once it gets sorted out in my mind, i might write something about it. But all I can say for now is HOLY ISH.

What is going on in my life?

I mean, beside man trouble it is good. Better than good. Well, no, just good. And good is good enough.

Current Location:	Home
Current Mood:	shocked

Happy birthday to my LiveJournal!

I am no longer a teenager. The last 23 minutes have been amazing, so far.

Maybe now I will start acting more like a grown-up.

Then as I was driving home, I rear-ended a guy.

Drove home, and dealt with my parents and my hitting something with their car (again).

They're amazing. I can't even say how amazing they are.

My headache never went away.

I didn't get confession tonight, so I have to go to church way way early toomorrow on the hopes that he will get me in.

USC lost to Stanford. Stanford. Honestly.

What a crappy day.

I applied at the registrar, to no avail. I also e-mailed one of my professors who needs help with an archiving project. It involves making photocopies from microfilm. I can't even get a job making photocopies of old Biola newsletters that no one wants to read.

I also heard back from the Scholar's Semester in Oxford Programme. They deferred my application to the October deadline. I will find out in about six weeks whether or not I will be going to England for the spring.

The Young Adult Conference is this weekend, which is awesome. I am really excited about it. St. Barnabas is semi-hosting it, and it's being put on by the Fellowship of St. John the Divine of the Antiochian Diocese of Los Angeles. I kind of want to go to Los Angeles and see Michael though. I miss that kid. But there is NO TIME this weekend.

Monique is coming to stay for the weekend, which will just be SO GOOD.

To do: Prepare presentation on David Hume. Finish Jonathan Edwards. Catch up on Critical Theory reading. Choose a topic and thesis for term paper. Check due dates for other assignements coming up soon.

Weekend weekend weekend weekend weekend.

Today felt like fall! For real! It was a fall afternoon! Had it been colder, I would have worn my scarf. The weekend that I bring my scarf collection from home to Biola is always a momentus time. It means that fall is really here.

I wanted to have a moment today, drivng back from church, listening to Sigur Ros, with the windows down, with the end-of-summer happening all about me. But when I rolled down the window, it smelled industrial and gross and not all like end-of-summer-Victoria-Avenue, which is what I think I was going for. Perhaps the pond at the park would have afforded a similar sensation.

Today was the ONLY day this week where I kind of skated by in class, a.k.a. not finishing the reading before class. We didn't even get to that reading though, so it was okay, although it was mostly by luck and not my skill.

Holly today said that she missed having those times as a young teenager when you felt everything so acutely, and admired people who are in our position right now. Had I known how it felt, though, to be where I am now, I would not have admired five-years-later me. It probably would have been too sad.

Last night I asked Ben why he chose to be a Christian. He said that it was kind of hard, and he had a lot of doubts, and epistemological uncertainty, but decided that there was no other way to deal with life. There is no other way to LIVE this LIFE without knowing that there is love and that God is love and that Christ brings us to God's love. As for me, I simply don't know what I would be without Christianity, without Christ or faith or love. I don't really want to know; I think I get glimpses every now and then. But I really don't want to know. I know what I am like when I at least have some faith, some love, and let Christ in even just a smidge. That leaves me with two questions: what would I be without it, and what would I be with it fully?

I have taken on St. John Chrysostom as my academic patron. This has kind of been informal since the beginning of my collegiate career, though I just recently purchased an icon of him and hung it with my others. So now it's more official I guess.

There was an internship that I applied for (paid!) that I didn't get, which means I have to look for a real job now. I'm also considering taking on some sort of editorial position for the English Department creative journal, and I am going to be a part of the planning for the spring semester's Zeitgeist student paper conference. This is good. I don't want to be just a name on a roster--English Majors--I want to get involved, I want to find my niche here in at Biola in that way. So I am looking forward to those things.

Our class session on Edwards was hard, and so was my class session on Plotinus and Longinus. Ugh...so tedious, and incomprensible. I had gotten to the point of saturation for Edwards last night. Tomorrow I will pick it up again and get through it. Maybe Thursday.

I have also been throwing around term paper topic ideas for Torrey. I really want to do something theological, since it is really my only outlet for theological thought. Maximos the Confessor is always a favorite, although I am very interested in the idea of light, transfiguration, and spiritual illumination. I need a thesis and outline (!!!) by October 8. I also have other projects that are due soon, which I haven't even looked at, that I really ought to get started on. This semester is going to require me to keep multiple things in the air at once, something that I've not done yet in the way of academics. I'm still working on it, but this week is starting better than last week, so I think we are on to something here.

Most of these places require a Bachelor's in some related field. I am not sure how I can manage that one. I will definitely have to declare my Biblical Studies minor. At Biola, everyone takes 30 units of Biblical studies courses (the equivalent of a minor) but in order to be awarded your minor you have to declare it. Which is kind of silly, since EVERYBODY takes that much Bible you'd think that EVERYBODY who fulfills the requirement automatically gets a minor. But it isn't so, my friends.

Studying theology/Bible at Biola is not an option. It would be miserable. But what if I had to go for a second Bachelor's in theology in order to do further graduate studies? That would be terrible(ly expensive).

So much lately I have been pining after England. A lot of friends are there this semester studying, and I applied to go for study abroad next semester. I have also been looking at Universities for graduate studies (including slogging through the Oxford website--good gracious), and in the field I would like to enter, my best bet right now is the UK. I've pored over the programme at Durham, made my shortlist of Oxford colleges, and checked the finer points of UWales Lamepter. The system at St Andrews was completely unintelligible. Really I ought to give that another try, along with University of Edinburgh. Oh, and Aberdeen. But Durham, Oxford, and UWales are my top three right now.

We'll see what happens.

Sometimes, my socialbility can be a hindrance to my schoolwork. Pretty obvious really.

I have about 300 pages of Jonathan Edwards to read. It's not as compelling as John Wesley, unfortunately. He often just repeats himself incessantly. I also have to read parts of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and some stuff for other classes. 14 units is not a huge workload, but I'm shifting the focus of my workload from one 12-unit class to 14 units spread over five classes, which requires a major change in study habits.

One of my favorite bands is the Decemberists. A lot of their songs are about fatally destructive relationships, yet they seem so romantic. It's mostly likely because of the juxtaposition of beautiful, chordant music with twisted, dark lyrics. It makes me wonder, though, why dark and dysfunctional relationships seem so romantic.

Orthodox people party at my apartment on Friday. I'm nervous AND excited, because there are so many new Orthodox people at Biola. I made a list. It's pretty awesome.

Back to Jonathan Edwards.

Well, sort of.

Philosophy to Elementary Education to English for Secondary Education to just straight English.

When talking to Fr. Josiah about being a teacher, at least for a little while, he said that he thought I wouldn't like it, I wouldn't like the teenagers, and that it wouldn't be adventurous enough.

Do I ever love adventure!

But he's right. I would hate it. I knew I would hate it. I do not know why I even spent my time trying to fit myself into that box. What I really aspire to is graduate studies in theology. But that sounds really scary. Being a teacher sounds less scary. It also sounds way less exciting.

But if I want to do this, I need to get myself disciplined and avoid my common traps of distraction and laziness, and get myself into studying.

For right now, let's focus on finishing my Torrey Europe reading, hmm?

The summer has been busy thus far.

Turkey and Greece were incredible. I loved Turkey more than I could have imagined.
Album One
Album Two
Album Three

Not long after that, some of my family came for my brother's graduation. All the Teen SOYO kids came for his graduation party, which was really cool.

Then my parents left for Ireland. My brother and I spent a few days in San Francisco, going to the Cathedral of the Holy Virgin Mary, Joy of All Who Sorrow for the celebrations of St. John of San Francisco's feast day. We also spent time with our family in Petaluma. We spent the Fourth of July with some dear friends from church, and watched the fireworks from their front yard. They have a nice view, and I would imagine the spectacle of Mount Roubidoux catching fire is within view as well. Much to our chagrin, the mountain did not catch on fire this year. Next year, maybe.

Then not a few days after my parents returned from Ireland, it was time to go see THE DECEMBERISTS at the Hollywood Bowl. It really was our lucky day (7.7.07). Meh. Okay. So good. Photos here. Bootleg mp3's here.

The next day,my brother and I went on the Annual St. Andrew Teen SOYO Campout. We went to Kings' Canyon, the Monastery of the Life-Giving Spring in Dunlap, San Simeon, Santa Ynez, and Santa Barbara. It was awesome. The end.

Since then, I have been working at trying recuperate, and ignoring the giant mess that has accumulated in my room since moving back into it. Nothing really ever got put away, it just got thrown onto my sofa. Now I am trying to decide if, since I have to move back a month, it is worth it to put it all away properly.

Last night I went with my dear friend Samuel to see the Fray and it was good.

Tomorrow I am going to Orange County to spend time with friends there, and then on Friday after work I am taking Katie to the Harry Potter Midnight Madness Book Release Party Thing. Even though I already ordered mine.

I still have a ton of reading to finish from Torrey Europe. Sigh.

So that's the ERIN UPDATE. I hope you enjoyed. :)

Current Location:	Riverside, CA
Current Mood:	exanimate
Current Music:	Okkervil River - The Next Four Months

Singing liturgy today went well. I didn't flub up too much. It got worse when I stopped thinking about the words and what was going on and instead thought about how badly I sounded. More practice this summer should be a good thing. I like it. I love singing. Love love love. I love singing the liturgy. I really feel like I am a part of the work, being in the heavenly realm. So awesome.

I saw the cutest baby at Trader Joe's today. He was probably about a year or so old, and he was BALD. I smiled at him, and he just looked at me coyly. I smiled bigger, and there was something about him that just made me laugh a little bit. He finally gave me a coy little smile. So adorable. It made my afternoon.

I am leaving tomorrow to go to GREECE and TURKEY.

Greasy turkey.

I am so excited.